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Jerk Chicken asearchs Chicken d Allspice t 2012 adsearchssearch http%3A%2F%2Fwww.zhicom.cnasearch Allspice e Meeting lsearchp Allspice asearcht Chicken c Gnew d Devi asearch search Gnew l Meetingstrippeddevi mo%C5%B7%C3%C0%BE%AB%C6%B7%CF%B5%C1%D0knockout_big+an Stripped searche Feb d Chicken r%E5%BA%8A%E4%B8%8A%E8%BF%9B%E5%85%A5%E4%B8%BB%E9%A2%98%E4%BA%86%EF%BC%8C%E5%9B%A0%E4%B8%BA%E5%BA%8A%E4%B8%8D%E4%BD%8F%E7%9A%84%E6%91%87%E5%8A%A8%E8%B5%B7%E6%9D%A5 Stripped e Escabeche hsearchdsearchte Meetingstrippeddevi fsearchnsearch 2012 r Meeting f Chicken ei Devi g Meetingstrippeddevi a Meeting csearchlt Stripped lsearcha Recipes e Jerk searchosearchn searcha 2012 searchrsearchm Escabeche hs Meetingstrippeddevi y Stripped ars searchf Escabeche uo Feb r91.porntic Single usearche Lifeandstyle asearch tsearche Chicken G2012x-artC Stripped in Meetingstrippeddevi G 2012 r Lifeandstyle a Single ysearchasearchdEsearchgl2n Gnew searchuisearchg Lifeandstyle t Jerk esearchm Feb dsvesearchtsearche Lifeandstyle .%E5%BA%8A%E4%B8%8A%E8%BF%9B%E5%85%A5%E4%B8%BB%E9%A2%98%E4%BA%86%EF%BC%8C%E5%9B%A0%E4%B8%BA%E5%BA%8A%E4%B8%8D%E4%BD%8F%E7%9A%84%E6%91%87%E5%8A%A8%E8%B5%B7%E6%9D%A5Asearchtsearchr Recipes h Stripped v Jerk ngsearchbeesearch n Jerk in Meetingstrippeddevi e Jerk ensearchen Chicken searchem Chicken lsearch Jerk r Allspice s Meeting dentsearchfsearchr e Chicken r, Meetingstrippeddevi i Feb Chicken omn Jerk esearchin Single ssearchy%E5%BA%8A%E4%B8%8A%E8%BF%9B%E5%85%A5%E4%B8%BB%E9%A2%98%E4%BA%86%EF%BC%8C%E5%9B%A0%E4%B8%BA%E5%BA%8A%E4%B8%8D%E4%BD%8F%E7%9A%84%E6%91%87%E5%8A%A8%E8%B5%B7%E6%9D%A5e Single w Escabeche s Carla%26Abby searchittle hard for me to swallow. Hansadutta was unquestionably totally intoxicated with his new found power, and was absorbed in the myth that he had overnight being benedicted with the causeless mercy of Srila Prabhupada, which had instantly transformed them all into transcendental uttama adhikaries, free from any hint of material contamination. I am now convinced that at that time, he actually believed it to be true, which only indicated what his false ego conception of himself was long before Srila Prabhupada departed. The other participants infected with the acarya imitation disease (AIDS), were soon regretting that they had let this genie out of the bottle. Hansadutta dasa immediately started politicking to increase his zone. He visited both Toronto and Vancouver in hopes of persuading Visvakarma dasa and Bahudak dasa to accept him as their GBC guru. He insisted that I support him by having me phone my friends in Canada in an attempt to have them convince the GBC to have Canada included in his zone. It soon became evident to me that Hansadutta dasa expected me to have the same outlook towards the rest of the ISKCON leaders as he did, namely that they were all fools and that he was the real Acarya. This attitude especially applied to the local GBC, Ramesvara Swami, and his long-time buddy, Jayatirtha dasa. Before long, I was receiving many harsh, threatening phone calls from these other pure devotees, who were putting pressure on me to side with them in the little wars that immediately broke out between these long time adversaries. Hansadutta dasa created a cult-like dynamic amongst his temple leaders based on the fraternity that we all had to share, that of being the misunderstood sincere ones, standing against the rest of the envious rascals. We were absolutely right and they were completely wrong. As I mentioned earlier, I was a backwoods Canadian who had a naive conception of these other leaders, thinking that they were bigger than life even before the transformation, so Hansadutta’s attitude towards the “enemy” was difficult to handle. It was especially difficult when you couldn’t trust that if you confided in the others, they would believe you or keep your confidence.

If Hansadutta ever suspected you of being disloyal then you could expect to be out in short order. He required this level of complete allegiance to him, and one was required to overlook the most glaring discrepancies in his already bizarre behavior. His visits would completely disrupt the smooth running of the temple activities, especially for the children. Hansadutta dasa had no regard for regulation, and prided himself in being spontaneous. Whimsical would be a more appropriate word to describe what we in Krsna consciousness might easily refer to as heavily influenced by the mode of passion. At Seattle, we had earlier rejected this influence via the women’s party policy that was still going on in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New Vrindabin. We had introduced a high degree of organization, scheduling, and regulation so as to keep the diverse programs of gurukula and sankirtan working smoothly. Hansadutta dasa would simply throw that concept out the window and demand that everyone be put on hold, awaiting his bidding. He would have everyone staying up late in the exclusive guru apartment we had to rent for him. He would let the morning program continue on endlessly, with his class cum darshan. He would have us engage in the most absurd endeavors, like finding out how to establish the Hans Bank. He had us spend a great deal of time and money locating his ex-wife, who had blooped a few years earlier. We had to pay her way to move from the east coast back to Seattle, and put her up in a nice apartment. She was completely out of Krsna consciousness and kept to herself. We hardly ever saw her because she did not participate in any temple activities.

His illusions of grandeur took on grotesque proportions, and his insistence on creating his own separate identity from that of Srila Prabhupada was unabashed. He wanted everyone to don his new style of kurta with the sinister hood. Everything had to be in the color black, reflecting his fixation of himself as being the “black sheep”. He would proudly claim that his father had been Hitler’s cook, and that he honestly believed himself to be the reincarnation of Hitler. His peculiar style of kirtan and bajan all took precedence over Srila Prabhupada’s original program. He was consciously out to eclipse Srila Prabhupada, and he did not seem to have any qualms about it. I was personally put in a very awkward position because he was politically astute enough to realize that he had to keep me closely aligned with him, so he would always insist that I come down to the Berkeley temple, which was his headquarters, and where thank heavens he spent most of his time. This proved very costly as well as distracting, but it did allow me to get an in-depth look at his psychotic personality.

Meanwhile, we continued to struggle with the problem of pressure from the state to upgrade our gurukula accommodations, with little hope of anyone else within the society coming forward to help, since Hansadutta dasa was separating himself from the rest of the organization. Instead, he often had me waste much valuable time looking at buildings, without any tangible plan on getting the money together to acquire such facilities. On the other hand, he had what seemed to be unlimited funds for guns, ammunition, cars, and whatever his heart desired. It became apparent that although he purported to be concerned about the children, his only real concern was for himself and his selfish, erratic sense gratification. All this was combined with an amazing ability to act. Hansadutta dasa would have taken an Oscar for his performances. He could change from tears to laughter at the twirl of a japa bead...something he didn’t do very often. His irrational preoccupation with firearms was his claim to infamy, and it wasn’t a joke, nor were the stories exaggerated. I was given enough first hand experiences with this macabre behavior to speak with authority, and I wasn’t even around Berkeley that often. If I had more psychological training, perhaps I could come up with an appropriate term that would fit his particular type of psychosis. Below are two definitions that seem to fit. Those who know him can decide for themselves:

Schizophrenia: severe mental disorder, or psychosis, characterized by faulty thought processes, bizarre actions, unrealistic behavior dominated by private fantasies, and incapacity to maintain normal interpersonal relationships. There may be a hereditary predisposition that makes some individuals likely to develop the disorder when exposed to particular environmental stresses.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder: type of psychological disturbance marked by repeating unwanted patterns of thought (obsession) coupled with repetitive, ritualistic behavior (compulsion). The individual may recognize the ideas and rituals as unrealistic or even repugnant, but still be unable to control them.

There are a number of gun related episodes that I was unfortunately a witness to, which convinced me that Hansadutta dasa was beyond reality and in need of serious professional help. Mount Kailash was Hansadutta’s usual shooting range, where he engaged in most of his orgasmic shooting pastimes. I use the term orgasmic figuratively, because that was exactly what they were like. He wouldn’t target practice or anything that would resemble sanity. Hansadutta would empty his firearm continuously without stopping to even inspect the target. He would have everyone else reloading his variety of guns, while he would empty them as fast as two or three men could load them, until he had shot hundreds of dollars worth of ammunition. The most shocking experience at Mount Kailasa that I witnessed was when we were sitting on a wagon pulled by a tractor. Many small children were on board along with Hansadutta dasa, who of course was holding a 12 gauge shotgun. Suddenly, without warning, Hansadutta emptied the gun. The noise and the hot shells falling all over the children created instant pandemonium. Hansadutta dasa was unfazed. He showed no remorse nor expressed any emotion. I realized then that I was involved with a very dangerous individual.

The second experience doubly confirmed my fears. The two of us were returning by van from having looked at a potential gurukula site near Santa Cruz. I was driving on the freeway through Oakland when a car full of teenagers pulled up alongside us. The kids were making some jeering expressions, and then they pulled in front of our vehicle. In my mind this wasn’t a serious situation at all, but when I looked over at Hansadutta who was seated beside me, he was removing a powerful handgun from his case. He rolled down the window and as the car was exiting on an off ramp he started shooting at it. In a panic I took the next exit, turned down a lane, and told him to get rid of the gun, because they might have phoned the police and reported the incident. But Hansadutta dasa was too attached to the gun and wouldn’t dispose of it. He wouldn’t explain what came over him and why he felt compelled to do such an irrational act.

These incidences I observed, along with many of Hansadutta dasa’s other psychotic behaviors and activities, convinced me I had to seek help. I discovered that he was taking a concocted mixture of prescription drugs and over the counter pills that Jiva [Swami], the pimp who was previously running the women’s party, had been using on the women to get them to perform their miraculous sankirtan feats. Along with this witches brew, Hansadutta was drinking this so-called Auyervedic medicine that contained a high alcohol content. The whole mess was too much for my mind to handle. I had serious doubts about his sanity, and I knew that if I confided in anyone and it got back to him, that my life was in danger.

Hansadutta dasa had isolated himself from the rest of the society and was constantly putting his fellow leaders down in the most un-Vaisnava like terms. I didn’t have a strong relationship with any other GBC at the time, with the exception of Jagadisa dasa, who had disappeared. I had been coerced into joining Hansadutta dasa’s around-the-world preaching tour to the Philippines, Hong Kong, Ceylon, and Germany. To describe the absolutely bizarre activities that took place during the two weeks I spent with this strange company would make this paper voluminous. The experience totally confirmed for me that it wasn’t just an envious attitude on my part that allowed me to see the insanity surrounding Hansadutta dasa. I jumped ship in Hong Kong and returned to Seattle.

Upon returning, I decided to take shelter of Ramesvara Swami, who at that time was visiting the Chicago Temple. This way I could give the appearance that I went not to speak with Ramesvara, but simply to visit my friend, Uttama Sloka, the Temple President of Chicago. After I explained what was going on he looked and sounded very sorrowful, and told me that the other GBC had been well aware of the situation long before I added my confirming statements. He agreed that Hansadutta was a very dangerous character and cautioned me to keep everything quiet until the Mayapura meetings, and then the GBC’s could collectively do something. I had no choice but to agree, and returned to Seattle. A few weeks later I receive an ominous phone call from Germany with Hansadutta dasa on the other end. “Rocana, tell me what I have been hearing from Harikesa Swami is not true. You are not saying all these untrue things about me are you?” I couldn’t believe my ears! Ramesvara Swami did exactly what he told me not to do. He had immediately returned to Los Angeles and proceeded to tell Harikesa Swami, the GBC for Germany what I had revealed confidentially to him in Chicago. Harikesa Swami, obviously oblivious to the danger he was putting me in, immediately confronted Hansadutta Swami during his visit to Germany.

The gig was up. I was finished. I was in the middle of the Christmas marathon. Laxmimoni devi, who had been living in Seattle for the last six months had just found Jagadisa dasa, who had blooped and was attending some university in Texas. She had insisted on going to pick-up Jagadisa. They had just arrived back in Seattle, and were embroiled in trying to sort things out between the two of them. On top of that, I had to deal with Hansadutta, who was now on the rampage, vowing to get back at me for being a traitor. Fortunately, Hansadutta had no choice but to stay in Germany for a while, due to having to prepare for the big criminal trial there dealing with the last big mess he had created, years before in Germany. After I did some pleading, an emergency GBC meeting was scheduled for a couple weeks hence in Detroit. I was to be given a chance to meet with the GBC and tell my story. They would decide what to do with this madman. I was given assurances that I and the Seattle devotees were going to be protected, and justice would prevail. Jagadisa dasa was asked to attend, and the GBC would also discuss his problems. qGnew Meetingstrippeddevi D Single Meeting Stripped Devi Ru Lifeandstyle 2012 Feb 03 Allspice Recipes Escabeche Jerk Chicken Meeting Stripped Devi The Hare Krsnas - Current Vaisnava Schools of Thought - Writings of Rocana dasas o 1 Nudity Naked Hardcore pGnew Meetingstrippeddevi D Single Meeting Stripped Devi Ru Lifeandstyle 2012 Feb 03 Allspice Recipes Escabeche Jerk Chicken Meeting Stripped Devi The Hare Krsnas - Current Vaisnava Schools of Thought - Writings of Rocana dasaw s o Meeting Stripped Devi Naked Meeting